Daring Dating Safely
[Christ] is the head of the body, the church… so that in everything he might have the supremacy. … So, flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (Col 1:18, 2Tim 2:22)
Today I am torn apart on this ‘Christ the King’ Sunday: should I write on the supremacy of Christ or dating safely? I’ll find a good middle-ground to stand. It is all about knowing your friend well. Dating, courtship, marriage and heaven are four stations along the one journey of knowing a friend more and more deeply and intimately.
Dating can have dangers, and here we will prescribe how to stay safe at this station. Commonly, dating is casually getting to know a person (or persons, one of whom) you may eventually have a romantic relationship with, while courting is being in a romantic relationship with a specific person, with the intention of marrying. Dangers of dating can arise from clashing expectations, surprise discoveries, and baseless assumptions. Reading signals wrongly can bring about disappointing results when the guy says the serious word, only to receive a cold answer. On the other hand, this girl just enjoys the sweet company of that guy, unaware of the fact that he is soon going to demand for things! He will either ask well or ask badly; if he asks badly, she will either get hurt by refusing and losing the friend, or she will get hurt by giving in and betraying herself.
In order to avoid the dangers and heartaches in dating, it is important to keep expectations and information clear; it is important to share vital information in a place and at a time free of anxiety and pressure; it is important to avoid assumptions and seek clarity before moving to the next step. Safety is good for you and for your friends; as you steer clear of the dangers, you can also help those that would be in danger of crushing on you. When you advance to courtship and to marriage, remember that this journey is all about knowing your friend better and better. In his marriage course, Mazzalongo asserts that “the success you have in making your wife happy is in direct proportion to your knowledge of her”, and hence the best compliment your wife can give you is, “you know me so well”. It takes intentional effort to grow this knowledge.
Before my space runs out, let us advance to the last station: heaven. Paul said, ‘I want to know Christ’ above all other things; and in Colossians he labours to make Christ known as supreme in all things. Just like in Colossae, there are several philosophies and teachings in our generation that tend to compete with and diminish Jesus Christ. Is he truly your friend? Then you need to pay close attention and make intentional effort to know Him more and more, growing in intimacy with Him until this relationship is consummated in heaven. God bless you.